The last post was the wrap up of the mission (such as it was) so I guess this is the Bonus Material. It is the "homecoming" talk when I spoke in Arrowhead Ranch. I figure I'll throw it out to the internets so I can find the thing again instead of having to search (some idiot titled it Arrowhead Ranch, instead of Talk given on, or Repent or something more logical).
Arrowhead Ranch, we have missed you tremendously. For the last three years I have followed many of your adventures on facebook and I never could quite bring myself to delete Book Club from my calendar. I will admit we did not miss you as much in the summertime. Our first week in California, people kept apologizing for the “heat wave” as the temperatures climbed to 95. Needless to say, we handled the “heat wave” just fine.
Over the last three years we had the opportunity to welcome and work with 706 missionaries in the Great California San Fernando Mission. I have now spoken in Spanish, mangled hellos in Korean and can say “hi” in ASL. I even can bear my testimony in my mission language—it’s totes true. I’ve spoken in more stake conferences than the average stake president and if I never eat another pulled pork sandwich, it will be too soon.
It was truly a privilege to work with, train and interact with all of these men and women who gave their all to the Lord in full time service. Service times varied from weeks to years, but all of them answered to call to serve and did what the Lord asked of them. All of them blessed the lives of the people in the San Fernando Mission and definitely blessed our lives.
People always ask me what the wife of the mission president actually does. I have no idea. Ken got a whole giant handbook, the young missionaries have a whole handbook. I got a paragraph which pretty much said just do what you feel you should do. Well, alrighty then.
So I was this weird hybrid of missionary, Ken’s wife, mother to KTRM and general neighborhood nutjob. All in all it was, to quote young Matthew, a Great Experiment. And like all experiments, some brought great success and some just about burned down the lab. But we survived to tell the tale. Or perhaps I should say the missionaries survived to tell the tale.
But enough of this chit-chat. As a missionary you have one job: to Cry Repentance. So, Arrowhead Ranch (and all you visitors) Repent!
Seeing people learn about Jesus Christ, his atonement and that it is possible to be relieved from the burden of sin, is one of the most amazing experiences as a missionary. But I didn’t work much with investigators, or even new converts. My missionary time was mainly spent with the missionaries themselves, and members of the 10 stakes in the mission. In other words, people who should already know that God is their loving Heavenly Father, that He sent his Son to satisfy the demands of justice and so in his infinite mercy we could be relieved of our burdens. So what did I cry unto them? What could I teach them that would change their very soul? What do we as covenant makers need to know? Well, I’ll tell you: Repent!
Helaman 5: 11 says of Jesus Christ, “And he hath power given unto him from the Father to redeem them from their sins because of repentance; therefore he hath sent his angels to declare the tidings of the conditions of repentance, which bringeth unto the power of the Redeemer, unto the salvation of their souls.” So let’s talk salvation to our souls.
Too often, Church members, and missionaries, do not look at repentance the same way as investigators and converts do. Too often church members, and missionaries, think that repentance is for when you have done something bad. For when you didn’t do something right. And,of course, that is true. Repentance is for when you do something bad. The problem comes when we think that is all repentance is for. Then we start thinking, “if I just do it right in the first place, I won’t have to repent.” Repentance becomes a symbol of our personal failure. It is something to try and avoid. Something to procrastinate or bury. Something shameful. Even worse, it becomes something measurable—I may not be perfect but I am more perfect than you are.
It is true that consequences of our unwise and unrighteous actions can lead to sorrow but if we don’t understand what else repentance is, then that quickly morphs into He brought that on himself so he deserves it or I have this trial so I must be unworthy. Here’s a pro-tip: we are all sinners and we all deserve it.
Trust me when I tell you that in this life (or the next) you do NOT want to get what you deserve. Fortunately, through the grace of God (and I use that word grace deliberately) we don’t have to. Alma 42:22 states 22 But there is a law given, and a punishment affixed, and a repentance granted; which repentance, mercy claimeth. Repentance is part of mercy! Not part of justice! So why do we think of it as some kind of payment or punishment?
Somewhere along the line we had a lesson on repenting. You need to do the 3 R’s, or maybe 5 r’s, remorse, restitution, repay, recycle… I don’t know what they are. It’s good we learned that (or apparently in my case I didn’t learn that), certainly we need to do that but don’t get it in your head that you can fix it. You can’t. If we were in zone conference I would make you repeat, “I cannot fix it.” And yet it must be fixed! I testify that it can be fixed but it is through faith in Jesus Christ that it will be fixed. We had the opportunity to have dinner with Elder Oaks and he asked if I had any questions for him. I asked him, “what would you like to say to our missionaries?” Elder Oaks is an apostle, his whole life is spent crying repentance so I figured it would be something along the be obedient, work hard, kind of line. What he said was very interesting. He said, “tell the missionaries they are not competent enough to sin so that they can’t repent.” Isn’t that great? Aren’t you glad that you are too dumb to get yourself into a mess that the Savior can’t fix?
Elder Russell M Nelson (Apr 07) said, “when Jesus said “repent,” He asked us to change—to change our mind, knowledge, and spirit—even our breath. A prophet explained that such a change in one’s breath is to breathe with grateful acknowledgement of Him who grants you each breath…To repent fully is to convert completely to the Lord Jesus Christ and His holy work…That change comes when we are “born again,” converted and focused upon our journey to the kingdom of God. [close] So the question of repentance is a question of what we are focusing on.
Are we focused on the Savior and his commandments, or are we focused on how much we have fallen short?
Are we breathing gratitude for our many blessings or complaining about the ones we think we don’t have?
How much of our day is consumed with our physical/mental/emotional/academic flaws and how much of our day is noticing the miracles around us?
So many times missionaries would get themselves stuck in this pattern of “I can’t be perfect therefore I am not eligible for God’s love.” Then they would go out and teach people that God loves them. Do you see the disconnect? There was always this nagging little voice saying “you can’t do it, you’ll never be perfect.” Well duh. Brothers and Sisters you can’t do it and you’ll never be perfect. Because perfection, and indeed growth and learning and progress come through Jesus Christ and you come unto Christ through repentance. Through re-focusing your thoughts, words and deeds, changing your heart, mind and breath. Or in missionary parlance, forget yourself and go to work.
Quit wasting time worrying about your shortcomings, do something about them. If you want your life to be focused on the Savior do the things that focus your life on the Savior—Go to church (good job, you did that today!) Read your scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon, and pray with real intent. That’s it. If you do those three things then the spirit will enter into your life and lead you where the Lord wants you to go. And if you haven’t been doing that, just start. Don’t get all angsty and wo is me I am bad because I haven’t read my scriptures in 3 years. Simply repent and pick up the book and start to read—there’s even an app for that. Haven’t prayed lately? Well, you don’t need an appointment, just pray. Repentance is one of those things that we overthink. Elder Holland stated that repentance takes just as long as deciding to change and then keep changing to make it stick. Or as Ken would say, “repent quickly and move on.”
The weird thing about repentance is that it is simultaneously not a big deal and a huge deal. I think the thing I learned the most as a missionary was something I knew intellectually but had not really seen up close and personal. That God loves all His children. All of them—including you. The invitation to repent, to change, to re-orient ourselves towards Christ is an invitation of love from our Father in Heaven and made possible through the atoning sacrifice of His son. It is more than being sorry for sin, it is changing our very soul be pressing forward in faith. It is repentance every time we read our scriptures, every time we pray, every time we serve, every time we choose the Lord’s way over our own way.
And just so we’re clear, repentance is not failure. Repentance is the plan. It comes through faith in Jesus Christ and only through Jesus Christ. Can I give you another pro-tip? If you really want to repent. If you really want to re-orient yourself towards Christ, you have to get into your scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon. You just have to. We take too much for granted and do too many soundbites. When it comes to the questions of the soul, you need to go to the source. I don’t care how many conference memes you have on your wall, if you are just taking the gospel as soundbites then repent! Quit taking someone else’s word for it. Find out for yourself.
Today I have come to collect my missionary plaque. We picked the scripture for it to represent our family and why we uprooted our children and dragged them to the wilds of Southern California. It reads: And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins. (2 N 25:26). In other words, it is through our Savior that we are made clean.
On a more personal note, my favorite missionary scripture is 3 Nephi 5:13 Behold, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I have been called of him to declare his word among his people, that they might have everlasting life. In other words, I cry repentance.
Update: Update: It occurs to me that when I gave this talk, I shared the story of Elder Anonymous--who called me because his back was hurting (from competitive, full-court basketball, needless to say I was more amused than sympathetic). I tld him to take some Advil and get to work. He called back four hours later saying the pain was back. I told him to read me the instructions on the bottle and then do what it said, i.e. take every 4-6 hours.
Repentance is like that. REad th e instructions and then Repeat as necessary! Maybe that is one of those R's...
