Hello Missionary Medical

So how have you been?  It's almost October and I  haven't blogged since July, but there is a reason.  I've been hiding under the bed the whole time.

In the first week of July, the awesome Sister Nightingale* (and her equally awesome companion Elder Nightingale) returned home from their mission.  Missionaries going home is par for the course, of course, but this was bad.  Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.  Sister N was the mission nurse, and when she left there was no one to replace her.  No one, except ME.  Yes, I was left in charge of medical issues until the also awesome Sister Barton** arrived in September.

Some of you are thinking, "how hard could it be?"  Obviously, you don't know me very well.

My mother is a nurse.  She is fascinated by nurse-y things like germs, bones protruding through skin, cardiac rhythms, etc.  I am not.  High school biology gave me the creeping-geekeys and whoever thought it was a good idea to show innocent teenagers what cells look like in actual life (instead of nice, neat cartoons) is still my mortal enemy.  I just don't want to know how the digestive system really works.

I think we have already established that I'm not the nurturing type.  My admonition to my children is not, "be careful, you could get hurt," but rather "knock it off now, I do NOT have time to take you to the emergency room!" I am not going to hover and wipe your fevered brow.  I will hand you a bowl and say don't barf on the carpet.

For two months, I had the nurse phone.  Literally. I had the mission phone assigned to the nurse.  The phone that every missionary knew to call for medical advice.  I took that phone and promptly hid it in a drawer.  First rule of calling Sister Hall for medical was that you had to call my phone, I was not going to carry and charge two phones and the mission nurse phone was a standard issue mission phone, which is to say LAME.  We are trying to get permission from Salt Lake for the mission nurse to have a smartphone, but apparently the mission department is a bit busy these days. But, I digress.

So after the missionaries learned they had to call me, they then learned a hard, but valuable lesson.  I don't answer my phone.  My phone has this nifty option to reply to a voice call with a text message. Well, we wouldn't want good programming to go to waste, now, would we?

The first time I replied to a sick call with I text, I felt vaguely guilty.  Not really.  I soon found out that when I texted back, the missionaries had to figure out what their complaint really was.  On the occasion when I did actually answer, I never knew what to ask.

Missionary:  I am really sick.
Me: That's not good.

But by the time they texted me back, I could already have the Missionary Medical website open and then I sounded like I knew what I was doing.

Missionary: I am really sick.
Me: Are you in pain? What kind? On a scale of 1-10? Sharp? Dull? Throbbing? Etc, etc, etc.

Most missionaries had run of the mill complaints which I could handle--or not.
"Sister Hall my back hurts because I played basketball."
"Was that non-competitive half-court basketball, Elder?"
 "errrrr"
"Yeah, I thought so.  Serves you right.  Take ibuprofen."
Seriously, it's not like the rules are just made up to thwart you.

If I couldn't handle it, then the fun really began.  All of the southern California missions have an area medical advisor, so I could call Dr/Elder Livingstone*** and see what an actual doctor would advise.  Very handy.

If it was time to see a doctor then the fun really began.  Before any missionary can see any doctor it must be approved by Missionary Medical first.  This involves a phone call.  I believe you are already aware of how much I hate making phone calls.  These phone calls weren't too traumatic though.  Everyone was super nice and helpful so that the missionaries could get what they needed.

Of course the first 400 times I called this was the conversation:
Me: Hi, this is Sister Hall from the California San Fernando Mission
MM: Oh, isn't Sister Nightingale there?
Me: No, she had the nerve to get released.
MM: Oh, that's too bad.  (long awkward pause) What can I help you with?


I told you Sister N was awesome.  She is a LEGEND at missionary medical.

Now we have Sister Barton and she is going to be just as legendary.  She is amazing.

I'm sure Missionary Medical is pleased.



*no, not really her name
**still not real name
***I presume not

Inspector Gadget

I now have in my possession a Passive Direct box.  I don't know how it works, I'm not entirely sure what it does, but I love it.  Because when I plug it into the church sound system I can hook up the laptop sound without blowing out anyone's ears or listening to loud annoying hums.  Isn't it beautiful?

Slideshow

If you ever wondered if I do love the missionaries--here is proof.  This is a slideshow I threw together in 5 minutes, to give me an excuse to play this song in zone conference.  One Elder wanted to email it to his parents but, it is too large to email and so I am posting it here.  I didn't even have time to preview all the pictures, so some are goofy. Normally, I would never have shown it in public.  But you do get to see some awesome missionaries, and that is all that really matters. 

San Fernando 2.0

People, you know how I feel about upgrades, don't you?  I love upgrades.  Except iTunes upgrades, those are mainly useless and annoying.  I love Photoshop upgrades, though--they are consistently wowie.  But enough free advertising, let's talk missionary work.

The Great California San Fernando Mission is now upgraded to The Great California San Fernando 2.0. 

Look out San Fernando Valley and Santa Clarita Valley--The Wave is coming. Surf's up!

Splitting the Baby Or in Other Words: Carry On!

Carrying On in the Desert

I'm kind of thinking that King Solomon was a bit of a slacker.  He's famous for suggesting that two women split a baby since they couldn't agree on who the mother was.  Of course, the real mother objected and it has a happy ending (for the mother anyway). 

In October, all the mission presidents were asked to submit how they would split or combine their missions with the surrounding missions.  President Castro of Ventura and President Hall of San Fernando, along with our wonderful area authority, Elder Garns, submitted a plan to create a new California Bakersfield mission.  Not because we wanted a new mission, but because everyone had been asked to do so.  They weren't actually supposed to split the baby!

The plan was submitted and we didn't hear anything.  We knew that when the newly called mission presidents were announced, that would be a great time to announce new missions.  We hadn't heard anything the day before the announcement so we figured we were safe.  Baby split: avoided.

Nobody tells us anything.

We had just completed transfers and I remember looking out at all the new missionaries and all the missionaries who were being transferred.  I was so relieved that they weren't splitting the mission, because I knew it would just kill Ken.

Ken and I were in the car when I received at text from my brother, Stan.  It asked if any of the new California missions affected us.  WHAT new California missions????  Stan said it was all over ksl.com and ldsnewsroom.  He said there were missions in Rancho Cucamonga (best name ever), Irvine and Bakersfield.  Crud.

I asked Ken if he knew anything about this--he didn't.  As soon as we got home he was on the phone to Salt Lake.  Each mission president has an "In-field Rep" that they can call for the random weird things that pop-up in a mission.  Ken asked Brother IFR if the mission split was the same as they had submitted.  Brother IFR said, "nothing will be announced until tomorrow." 

We said, "it's on the website."

He said, "let me call you back."  They don't tell him anything, either.

(For the record, this is also how we found out about Sister Training Leaders--then church sends the email after the announcement but the press releases must go out early.)  Too funny.

You can see the split in all it's technicolor glory here. 

So for the last few months we have been preparing to split.  On June 28th, when President Wilson's plane touches down in Bakersfield, the 75* missionaries in our four desert zones will be a part of the Bakersfield mission. 

Transfer meeting was last week and it was a little bit tough, but for the most part, missionaries suspected where they would be.  There were a couple of surprises but most missionaries love the people and love the area and were worried more about the people than about what mission they would come home from.

Thursday we held a Desert Zone conference where we were able to meet with all of the Bakersfield Pioneers.  It was a very tender meeting.

I told the missionaries that I knew their only real question was, "what crazy primary song will Sister Hall make us sing today."  We sang I Hope They Call Me on a Mission, of course.

I said I felt that my children had been called on a mission.  They have been called on a mission, away from us to the great people of Bakersfield.  Like any parent sending a child off, I worried. 

I worried if I had taught them enough.  Yes, I had taught them enough.  They may not know everything, but they know enough.

I worried if they would forget themselves and go to work.  Their day-to-day mission was not really changing.  They will continue on as they had before the split.

I worried if they would behave themselves. Finger wagging and the raised eyebrow may or may not have been used.  But in fact, here is a chance to start again, to be a better missionary. To not be hindered by the past.  To leave whatever reputation behind.  Everyone needs a do-over, even if you are an exceptional missionary, it is time to kick it up a notch.

I probably worried about something else, too, but that was 3 days ago which is really a long time ago in mission days.

I did share with them a scripture in 2 Nephi 10: 19

19   Wherefore, I will consecrate this land unto thy seed, and them who shall be numbered among thy seed, forever, for the land of their inheritance; for it is a choice land, saith God unto me, above all other lands, wherefore I will have all men that dwell thereon that they shall worship me, saith God.

20   And now, my beloved brethren, seeing that our merciful God has given us so great knowledge concerning these things, let us remember him, and lay aside our sins, and not hang down our heads, for we are not cast off; nevertheless, we have been driven out of the land of our inheritance; but we have been led to a better land (emphasis mine).

 

I am so excited for them.  It is such a blessing to serve under two mission presidents--and some of them were here when we came so it is really three.  Plus, they will have companions who served under President Castro in Ventura so they can learn from him--so four.  What an amazing blessing to see how the gospel works and the Lord inspires different men in different ways to accomplish His purpose.

 

We will miss our desert missionaries, but we know that even though we didn't know, and they didn't know the mission would be split, the Lord knew.  He called them to San Fernando so they would be in position to save souls in Bakersfield.  We are just so grateful we had the privilege of serving with them first. 

Some people (who shall remain nameless) suggested we sing God Be With You Til We Meet Again as a closing song.  No Way was I going to sing that funeral song in that meeting.  (I have issues, I know).  We sang Carry On. 

And we hear the desert singing:

Carry on, carry on, carry on!

Hills and vales and mountains ringing:

Carry on, carry on, carry on!

Holding aloft our colors,

We march in the glorious dawn.

O youth of the noble birthright,

Carry on, carry on, carry on!

 

Farewell Desert Zones--and Carry On!

 

*Yes, 75 is an odd number.  Glad you noticed.  37 companionships plus one Assisstant makes 75.  We took Elder A up to Ventura to meet his new companion.  He has the assignment of getting President Wilson up to speed on the San Fernando side and his companion Elder S on the Ventura side.  Like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, we will miss him most of all. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Missionaries Go Home Early

I've been trying to clean out my draft folder and the next up is a post on the new Sister Training Leaders and the first ever California San Fernando Mission Leadership Council (which was awesome btw).  But I feel the need to jump the queue as it were, and talk a bit about missionaries that go home early.

First, the decision to send a missionary home is not made by the Mission President.  It is made the Missionary Department after recommendation from the Mission President, the home Stake President and a General Authority.  The General Authority ultimately makes the call.  More about that later on.

So why do some missionaries go home early?

1:  Health

This one is pretty self-explanatory and easy to understand.  You break your leg and need surgery?  Off you go, and depending on how long you have left will determine if you are coming back or released.  Going home is still a bit of a shock and surprise, but everyone understands why.  Most people accept health problems as a valid reason and move on to more interesting gossip. Even if you broke it doing something stupid/against the rules, everyone at home has done something stupid and will generally give you a pass. 

2: Mental Health

This one is tougher than plain physical health.  It is tougher on the missionary in the mission and tougher facing everyone at home.  Because mental health is not something we can see on an X-ray, we are more likely to dismiss it as not real.  Just pick up your bed and walk and quit complaining.  I have been surprised how many people still think anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications are an indication of lack of faith.  Just have faith and you'll be fine.  Did you tell the broken leg example to have faith instead of surgery?  Why not?  Leaving aside the chicken and egg debate, the fact is that for whatever reason, something needs to change.  It may mean medication in-field, going home to get stable, or a release.

Parents, bishops and stake presidents, if your missionary has had issues before the mission, the mission will make them worse.  Being a missionary is a stressful thing. Add to that the fact that we also take away all your stress-relief coping mechanisms.  No favorite music, books, movies, websites, facebook, texting,  chatting or hanging-out.  We require you to be with someone you don't know and may not even like 24/7, except for the bathroom.  If you are struggling before the mission, get help before you go.  I don't know why some feel that getting help is a sign of weakness or worthiness.  It is neither.  It is a sign of pride to insist on doing everything yourself.  If you can get coping skills and if necessary, medication, before you go, it will be a much easier transition.

Sometimes even with these resources before and during the mission, it is not enough and they go home early.  And it is hard to go home early.  It is hard to go to church and have people ask what you are doing here (because they don't see any crutches like broken-leg Elder).   Please read Elder Alexander Morrison's (of the Seventy) article or visit lds.org (topic mental health). (Is it obvious those are hyperlinks? Just click on them and you'll open a new tab.)

Let's support each other, try and remember that just because you can't see it, it is still real.  Be grateful it is not the trial you are called to bear.

3:  In-field Transgression/Severe Disobedience

Of all the missionaries I have seen go home early, this is the most rare.  Occasionally there will be a missionary who ditches his/her companion and gets into moral trouble.  These situations do occur and if the companion is aware and does nothing, the companion can also be sent home.  It is that serious. 

The first question the general authorities always ask in in-field cases is, "where was the companion." 

From there it depends on the seriousness of the problem and may require an in-field disciplinary council.  The mission president will co-ordinate with the home stake president for going forward at home.  Again, the decision of stay/go is not up to the mission president. 

4:  Pre-field Transgression/Belated Confession

This is hard.  This is when a missionary goes home to take care of an issue that should have been taken care of with  his/her bishop before coming on a mission.

For whatever reason, the missionary did not disclose certain things and now he/she knows it needs to be.  Sometimes they feel that they can just work it out by working hard and "being good."  Sometimes they did not understand the seriousness of the sin until they started studying and teaching the commandments to others. 

Funny thing about being a missionary.  If you work hard to do what you are supposed to be doing, you will feel the Spirit.  If there is something you need to take care of, the Spirit will pierce your soul and you will, like Alma, be racked, even with the pains of a damned soul.  Damned is Alma's description and it is a good description.  You can't go on how you are and you are stuck in the hell of knowing you need to do something but that something is so awful to contemplate, that like Alma, you want to "become extinct both body and soul."  (see Alma 36:15-18)

At the beginning they think they can handle it.  The closer they get to the Spirit, the more they know they can't.  And again, like Alma, it doesn't stop until they cry out "O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me." 

And then, in one of the supreme acts of courage a young man or woman can do, they pick up the phone and say, "President, can I meet with you?"

I cannot stress enough what an act of courage this is.  Because they know it will change everything.  Something that pre-mission would have been noticed by very few, now feels like it is being shouted from the rooftops.  Not only does your mission president know, your stake president knows, and "Salt Lake" knows, and your companion/zone/mission may not know the details but they know you are leaving. 

Even worse, you now come home and now your whole home ward "knows."   

I think this category is the main reason that the decision of stay or go is not left to the mission president.  Because the mission president would keep them here. But often when it is serious enough to go home for a season, other people were involved and they also know that the missionary needs to repent.  If they think that it must not have been a "big deal" then their understanding of repentance is jeopardized--and could have eternal consequences.

The mission president  knows that going home will take tremendous strength and courage.  He knows that repentance is real.  That the atonement is real.  That this is a GOOD THING.  That Jesus, the Son of God died for this son or daughter and He will have mercy.  The mission president also knows that some families are just beginning to learn this, and this is a hard lesson to learn when it is your child, instead of Mosiah's. Christ cannot help us until we take that first step and call out to him.

So if you know someone who came home for health help them get healthy, whether physical or mental. Rejoice with them for the service that they gave and the lessons that they learned. 

If you know someone who came home for other reasons, rejoice with them.  Because they are living the gospel at the most basic and divine level.  They have bared their souls before the Lord and have declared a willingness to do anything to know God. This refiner's fire is white hot and public. It's heat is enough to burn away the dross of the missionary and his/her family if they have the courage.  But it will take courage.  The courage to not be ashamed of the past, to not be ashamed of the present, the courage to say through action and words, "we believe that through the Atonement of  Christ we may be saved."  I find it discouraging (interesting word, dis-courage-ing) that life-long members have more trouble with this than new members.  Perhaps, because new members know how the atonement has changed them forever while life-long members have this mistaken idea that repentance is only for when you are "bad" and if you have to repent you are doing it wrong.  Repentance means you are doing it right.  That you are doing whatever it takes.  No matter what.

Please rejoice with your early missionaries.  Show them that you understand that the atonement is real, no one is perfect and with Christ, all things are possible and all pains (even the pains of going home early) are swallowed up in him. 

After a season, send them back to us.  We love them.  We need them.  The people of this mission need them.  Their companions need them.  The Lord needs them. 


And a courageous, repentant missionary is powerful.  Just ask Alma and the Sons of Mosiah.

Time for a Zone Conference Sing-a-Long

Last time it was Popcorn Popping but this time it is Book of Mormon Stories.  Frankly, after sitting so long, I need a wiggle song and I figure they do to.  Plus, there is just something irresistible about dignified missionaries "looking out the window" or sailing "far across the sea." 

Why Book of Mormon Stories?  Besides the obvious, I mean.  Well to begin with, that song always bugged me as a small child.  Back in the olden days, when snow was deep and hills only went up, there were only two verses and neither qualified in my mind as a story.  OK, they came across the sea and then something about a land of liberty that frankly is more postscript than script.  I am very happy to report that more verses have been added since I was a wee lass and they actually are stories. Yet, as usual, I digress.

In Zone Conference we practiced introducing The Book of Mormon to someone.  Most went like this:  The Book of Mormon is an ancient book of scripture that is comparable to blah blah blah snoozeville.  I mean who talks like  that? I mean besides my relatives.  What normal person talks like that?

I want you to read The Book of Mormon because it will change your life and will let you hear the voice of God talking to you personally.  So when introducing it to someone why wouldn't you get straight to that point? Nobody cares about ancient records or reformed Egyptian.  It's 2013, I want to know precisely what this book has to do with ME and MY life. And I want to know in about 30 seconds because I have Things To Do.

Each of the missionaries then had to find a Book of Mormon scripture that personally meant something to them.  Then they introduced it again, using that scripture.  What a difference.  It went from "It can change your life" to "It changed MY life and can change yours, too."

It was very interesting to eavesdrop as they practiced, and very touching.  These young missionaries were sharing every  part of the doctrine of Christ in the scriptures they chose.  Some shared scriptures of faith, some of repentance, some of the power of the Holy Ghost, etc.

So when you talk to your friends and neighbors about this strange "golden bible,"  make it personal.  Tell why it has changed you and how you know it can change them. 

Make your own verse to the song.  And don't forget the actions :)