Merry Zone Conference

The title of the blog is The Great Experiment, because when we were called, Matthew (who was 7) bore his testimony and said, "I know this will be a great experiment."  I think he meant "great experience" but, I think experiment just about sums it up.

So the whole mission thing is an experiment and I am about to embark on another.  I just gave my blog address to the missionaries.  Now they can't check it out, but I asked them to pass it along to their families so I could post pictures of them.  I am not promising I will post any pictures, I certainly can't take requests, but from time to time, I hope to post pictures.  It will mainly be zone conference group shots.  Boring, but efficient. As for non-picture blogging, it happens when it happen.

Zone Conferences are quarterly and they are great.  We just had conferences last week and they were great.  We focused on finding, because nothing happens in missionary work happens until you find someone to teach. Maybe someday I'll tell you about it. In the mean time, ask your missionary--they can help you.

So here is what you all really came to see. For privacy,  I have purposely not included any names--hopefully you can recognize your missionary :)

Merry Christmas!

What Your Missionary Wants for Christmas

Candy.
The End

Actually, most of them don't even want that.  The members will make sure they are well supplied with candy, cookies and all kinds of food--delicious and otherwise :)

Some may need new shirts, shoes, skirts or a tie/blouse/whatever that they haven't worn 500 times.  But that isn't it either.

As families begin the countdown to the Christmas Day Skype call, take a moment to put yourselves in your missionary's well-worn shoes.

Christmas as a missionary is different.  Because Christmas is so filled with family, community and neighborhood traditions, it is easy to imagine what your family and friends are doing--doing without you. You know what they are doing, you know what they are eating!  It is a time of homesickness for many, even seasoned missionaries.  Today we picked up 21 missionaries fresh from the MTC.  They are exhausted, they are in a new place, they are in sunny Southern California--in December.  It will be a challenge for some of them to have Christmas directly after leaving home.

But they will do it, and it will change them.  Elder Holland put it this way:

For such an uneventful Christmas—clearly the least festive of any I ever had before or since—it says something that those special days in December of 1960 remain in my heart (after more than 50 years!) as one of the sweetest Christmases I have ever had. I think that is because for the first time in my life, I found myself understanding Christmas rather than just enjoying it. I think for the first time in any truly significant way, I was getting the message of Christ’s birth and life—His message and His mission and His sacrifice for others.

Instead of celebrating Christmas, understanding Christmas.  Instead remembering Christ, representing Christ. It is a unique and wonderful privilege.

So what does your missionary want for Christmas?

Your missionary wants you to understand why she is not home for Christmas.  Your missionary wants you to understand what he has committed to do.

What your missionary wants for Christmas is your testimony.  Specifically, your testimony of missionary work.  Your own missionary work. 

When you finally see each other through the miracle that is Skype, your missionary wants to hear how what they are doing and sacrificing is so important, that bringing the gospel is so vital, that you are doing it too. You understand that Jesus Christ was born in that manger so that all mankind could be saved.  That the gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored to the earth and with it the priesthood keys and ordinances that bind and seal us together for all eternity.  That because of Christ's atoning sacrifice we can change, we can improve, we can return to God again.

You've got three weeks.

Start by praying every morning and every evening for missionary experiences.

Keep a pass along card, mormon.org card or Book of Mormon with you--just in case.

I know you have a ward party, a RS dinner, a choir performance that you can invite people to--invite them!

When you are chatting at work about how busy the season is, how far behind you are on your preparations, etc. go the extra step and say how much you love Christmas and how amazing it is that Jesus was born, lived and died for us.

Actually bear your testimony to your visiting teachees.

Ask the missionaries in your area to find someone to teach in your home.

Easiest of all, TELL PEOPLE YOUR MISSIONARY WILL NOT BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS AND YOU ARE SO GLAD!  Sorry for the yelling, but if you have a son, daughter, niece, nephew, grandmother, aunt, neighbor or former cub scout on a mission, tell the world!  I guarantee if you start talking about how your missionary being away, or how you only talk to them twice a year, people will want to know what kind of crazy peppermint you've been smoking.  Tell them!

We know you miss them, but we also know how proud you are of them.

Come Christmas morning--tell your missionary what you did because of their example.  Tell them how you wanted to be a part of something so very dear to their hearts.

Christ is  the point of Christmas.  Joy to the World!

Hello Missionary Medical

So how have you been?  It's almost October and I  haven't blogged since July, but there is a reason.  I've been hiding under the bed the whole time.

In the first week of July, the awesome Sister Nightingale* (and her equally awesome companion Elder Nightingale) returned home from their mission.  Missionaries going home is par for the course, of course, but this was bad.  Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.  Sister N was the mission nurse, and when she left there was no one to replace her.  No one, except ME.  Yes, I was left in charge of medical issues until the also awesome Sister Barton** arrived in September.

Some of you are thinking, "how hard could it be?"  Obviously, you don't know me very well.

My mother is a nurse.  She is fascinated by nurse-y things like germs, bones protruding through skin, cardiac rhythms, etc.  I am not.  High school biology gave me the creeping-geekeys and whoever thought it was a good idea to show innocent teenagers what cells look like in actual life (instead of nice, neat cartoons) is still my mortal enemy.  I just don't want to know how the digestive system really works.

I think we have already established that I'm not the nurturing type.  My admonition to my children is not, "be careful, you could get hurt," but rather "knock it off now, I do NOT have time to take you to the emergency room!" I am not going to hover and wipe your fevered brow.  I will hand you a bowl and say don't barf on the carpet.

For two months, I had the nurse phone.  Literally. I had the mission phone assigned to the nurse.  The phone that every missionary knew to call for medical advice.  I took that phone and promptly hid it in a drawer.  First rule of calling Sister Hall for medical was that you had to call my phone, I was not going to carry and charge two phones and the mission nurse phone was a standard issue mission phone, which is to say LAME.  We are trying to get permission from Salt Lake for the mission nurse to have a smartphone, but apparently the mission department is a bit busy these days. But, I digress.

So after the missionaries learned they had to call me, they then learned a hard, but valuable lesson.  I don't answer my phone.  My phone has this nifty option to reply to a voice call with a text message. Well, we wouldn't want good programming to go to waste, now, would we?

The first time I replied to a sick call with I text, I felt vaguely guilty.  Not really.  I soon found out that when I texted back, the missionaries had to figure out what their complaint really was.  On the occasion when I did actually answer, I never knew what to ask.

Missionary:  I am really sick.
Me: That's not good.

But by the time they texted me back, I could already have the Missionary Medical website open and then I sounded like I knew what I was doing.

Missionary: I am really sick.
Me: Are you in pain? What kind? On a scale of 1-10? Sharp? Dull? Throbbing? Etc, etc, etc.

Most missionaries had run of the mill complaints which I could handle--or not.
"Sister Hall my back hurts because I played basketball."
"Was that non-competitive half-court basketball, Elder?"
 "errrrr"
"Yeah, I thought so.  Serves you right.  Take ibuprofen."
Seriously, it's not like the rules are just made up to thwart you.

If I couldn't handle it, then the fun really began.  All of the southern California missions have an area medical advisor, so I could call Dr/Elder Livingstone*** and see what an actual doctor would advise.  Very handy.

If it was time to see a doctor then the fun really began.  Before any missionary can see any doctor it must be approved by Missionary Medical first.  This involves a phone call.  I believe you are already aware of how much I hate making phone calls.  These phone calls weren't too traumatic though.  Everyone was super nice and helpful so that the missionaries could get what they needed.

Of course the first 400 times I called this was the conversation:
Me: Hi, this is Sister Hall from the California San Fernando Mission
MM: Oh, isn't Sister Nightingale there?
Me: No, she had the nerve to get released.
MM: Oh, that's too bad.  (long awkward pause) What can I help you with?


I told you Sister N was awesome.  She is a LEGEND at missionary medical.

Now we have Sister Barton and she is going to be just as legendary.  She is amazing.

I'm sure Missionary Medical is pleased.



*no, not really her name
**still not real name
***I presume not

Inspector Gadget

I now have in my possession a Passive Direct box.  I don't know how it works, I'm not entirely sure what it does, but I love it.  Because when I plug it into the church sound system I can hook up the laptop sound without blowing out anyone's ears or listening to loud annoying hums.  Isn't it beautiful?

Slideshow

If you ever wondered if I do love the missionaries--here is proof.  This is a slideshow I threw together in 5 minutes, to give me an excuse to play this song in zone conference.  One Elder wanted to email it to his parents but, it is too large to email and so I am posting it here.  I didn't even have time to preview all the pictures, so some are goofy. Normally, I would never have shown it in public.  But you do get to see some awesome missionaries, and that is all that really matters. 

San Fernando 2.0

People, you know how I feel about upgrades, don't you?  I love upgrades.  Except iTunes upgrades, those are mainly useless and annoying.  I love Photoshop upgrades, though--they are consistently wowie.  But enough free advertising, let's talk missionary work.

The Great California San Fernando Mission is now upgraded to The Great California San Fernando 2.0. 

Look out San Fernando Valley and Santa Clarita Valley--The Wave is coming. Surf's up!

Splitting the Baby Or in Other Words: Carry On!

Carrying On in the Desert

I'm kind of thinking that King Solomon was a bit of a slacker.  He's famous for suggesting that two women split a baby since they couldn't agree on who the mother was.  Of course, the real mother objected and it has a happy ending (for the mother anyway). 

In October, all the mission presidents were asked to submit how they would split or combine their missions with the surrounding missions.  President Castro of Ventura and President Hall of San Fernando, along with our wonderful area authority, Elder Garns, submitted a plan to create a new California Bakersfield mission.  Not because we wanted a new mission, but because everyone had been asked to do so.  They weren't actually supposed to split the baby!

The plan was submitted and we didn't hear anything.  We knew that when the newly called mission presidents were announced, that would be a great time to announce new missions.  We hadn't heard anything the day before the announcement so we figured we were safe.  Baby split: avoided.

Nobody tells us anything.

We had just completed transfers and I remember looking out at all the new missionaries and all the missionaries who were being transferred.  I was so relieved that they weren't splitting the mission, because I knew it would just kill Ken.

Ken and I were in the car when I received at text from my brother, Stan.  It asked if any of the new California missions affected us.  WHAT new California missions????  Stan said it was all over ksl.com and ldsnewsroom.  He said there were missions in Rancho Cucamonga (best name ever), Irvine and Bakersfield.  Crud.

I asked Ken if he knew anything about this--he didn't.  As soon as we got home he was on the phone to Salt Lake.  Each mission president has an "In-field Rep" that they can call for the random weird things that pop-up in a mission.  Ken asked Brother IFR if the mission split was the same as they had submitted.  Brother IFR said, "nothing will be announced until tomorrow." 

We said, "it's on the website."

He said, "let me call you back."  They don't tell him anything, either.

(For the record, this is also how we found out about Sister Training Leaders--then church sends the email after the announcement but the press releases must go out early.)  Too funny.

You can see the split in all it's technicolor glory here. 

So for the last few months we have been preparing to split.  On June 28th, when President Wilson's plane touches down in Bakersfield, the 75* missionaries in our four desert zones will be a part of the Bakersfield mission. 

Transfer meeting was last week and it was a little bit tough, but for the most part, missionaries suspected where they would be.  There were a couple of surprises but most missionaries love the people and love the area and were worried more about the people than about what mission they would come home from.

Thursday we held a Desert Zone conference where we were able to meet with all of the Bakersfield Pioneers.  It was a very tender meeting.

I told the missionaries that I knew their only real question was, "what crazy primary song will Sister Hall make us sing today."  We sang I Hope They Call Me on a Mission, of course.

I said I felt that my children had been called on a mission.  They have been called on a mission, away from us to the great people of Bakersfield.  Like any parent sending a child off, I worried. 

I worried if I had taught them enough.  Yes, I had taught them enough.  They may not know everything, but they know enough.

I worried if they would forget themselves and go to work.  Their day-to-day mission was not really changing.  They will continue on as they had before the split.

I worried if they would behave themselves. Finger wagging and the raised eyebrow may or may not have been used.  But in fact, here is a chance to start again, to be a better missionary. To not be hindered by the past.  To leave whatever reputation behind.  Everyone needs a do-over, even if you are an exceptional missionary, it is time to kick it up a notch.

I probably worried about something else, too, but that was 3 days ago which is really a long time ago in mission days.

I did share with them a scripture in 2 Nephi 10: 19

19   Wherefore, I will consecrate this land unto thy seed, and them who shall be numbered among thy seed, forever, for the land of their inheritance; for it is a choice land, saith God unto me, above all other lands, wherefore I will have all men that dwell thereon that they shall worship me, saith God.

20   And now, my beloved brethren, seeing that our merciful God has given us so great knowledge concerning these things, let us remember him, and lay aside our sins, and not hang down our heads, for we are not cast off; nevertheless, we have been driven out of the land of our inheritance; but we have been led to a better land (emphasis mine).

 

I am so excited for them.  It is such a blessing to serve under two mission presidents--and some of them were here when we came so it is really three.  Plus, they will have companions who served under President Castro in Ventura so they can learn from him--so four.  What an amazing blessing to see how the gospel works and the Lord inspires different men in different ways to accomplish His purpose.

 

We will miss our desert missionaries, but we know that even though we didn't know, and they didn't know the mission would be split, the Lord knew.  He called them to San Fernando so they would be in position to save souls in Bakersfield.  We are just so grateful we had the privilege of serving with them first. 

Some people (who shall remain nameless) suggested we sing God Be With You Til We Meet Again as a closing song.  No Way was I going to sing that funeral song in that meeting.  (I have issues, I know).  We sang Carry On. 

And we hear the desert singing:

Carry on, carry on, carry on!

Hills and vales and mountains ringing:

Carry on, carry on, carry on!

Holding aloft our colors,

We march in the glorious dawn.

O youth of the noble birthright,

Carry on, carry on, carry on!

 

Farewell Desert Zones--and Carry On!

 

*Yes, 75 is an odd number.  Glad you noticed.  37 companionships plus one Assisstant makes 75.  We took Elder A up to Ventura to meet his new companion.  He has the assignment of getting President Wilson up to speed on the San Fernando side and his companion Elder S on the Ventura side.  Like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, we will miss him most of all.